Dear Asher
I am no longer in the community. I have decided to leave this place and try my luck Elsewhere.
You will probably not understand the things I am about to describe, but perhaps in the future, once the community recovers from the release of my memories, you will.
I had to leave the community for several reasons, the first of which is this: feelings. You probably know what feelings are from your evening feelings time. But the feelings you talk about during this time - happiness, anger and sadness - to name a few, have not really been felt in this community for a long time. You ask though:
“What about the things we talk about during feelings time?
You and the rest of the community have not experienced, not felt, real sadness in a long time. The sadness you talk about leaves after an hour or two. Real sadness is something so huge that it may take weeks, months or even years to finally shrug off. It is this lack of real emotion which is one of the reasons for which I have decided to leave.
Another perhaps more fundamental reason is the absence of the feeling love. If you ask another person about love they will tell you it’s a term that is no longer in use, and that it’s meaningless. If you have felt love though, as I have and you soon will too, then you will know that is one of the most meaningful and special things in the entire world. A memory that will be coming to you soon is that of a group of people, young and old, sitting together. As you look at them you will come to feel a sort of warm feeling that feels wonderful. It’s hard to explain in words but once you feel it you will know it, and you will feel a unique and special sensation, that will consume your entire being. That, my friend, is love
The last - but not least - reason is the eternal sameness in this world. Since I became receiver of memory I have seen the world in a different way. I have seen something known as colour, and it‘s truly amazing. It is hard to describe to someone what colour is without them seeing it, but in the world you live in everything is the same. The weather, the topography and the colours, they’re all the same. This sameness drives me insane and that’s another significant factor that led me to the decision that I had to leave. I have left in search of a place in which everything is not the same, where there are distinctions and differences, where there will be a diversity which stimulates one’s heart and mind.
You will soon get a memory in which you are on some sort of wooden contraption, and you are accelerating down a hill at a speed so fast it is both exhilarating and terrifying. Of course you don’t know the word hill because all hills were razed years ago by our forefathers. This is different to the world that you currently live in, and all this sameness that keeps any of that from happening is why I want to go. Once I have found a place with contrasts I will feel happier than I ever did in the community. I will feel for the first time in my life, happy.
From Jonas
This is
AlexK
Signing out
